I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
