is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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