Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
