Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
