This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
even my farts smell like vagina
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
