He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
