he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
