How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
