He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
