well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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