nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
