Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
