idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
