Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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