Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
