You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Couch. On fire.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
