He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Randomize
