I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
