This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
