Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
