I'm drive I can fine osifer
Welp...herpes.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
