And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
