We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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