I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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