What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
