It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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