the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you inspire me to be a worse person
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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