HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
