I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
