i barfeds in our rink
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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