Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
