Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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