im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
