hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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