Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
