dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
