You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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