hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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