Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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