Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
