"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
