You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
