I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
