just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
