I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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