my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
