so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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