the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
