Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
