you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
