well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
