that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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