In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
