the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
