i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Ladies don't puke and tell
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
